Ask anyone. Posing the question about the top human needs out there in today’s world, and you’ll get a list. A lot of the items on that list will vary. But one that will always be a constant 99.9% of the time in any list of basic human needs, a priority above all others, is love. And there’s no fault to it. We humans long for that companionship and identifying with someone on a personal level, fulfilling ourselves deeply in a way that allows us to share ourselves with others.
But…. Not to be a killjoy here….
Love as a human need can be scary!
Sure, the idea of opening yourself up to someone’s intense, but that’s not what we’re referring to here. The fact is that while you’re leaving yourself vulnerable to getting hurt (obviously), being in love is not only like floating in thin air, but it’s floating into a wall and busting your nose. All while you weren’t looking
Fall too hard with love, and you might find yourself obsessing over the person to the point where you forget to take care of yourself. Your goal is to only please the other without any regard for your own autonomy. That can be dangerous. Yet it’s hard to find a balance when you’re that much in love and you long and desire for the person so deeply that you’re willing to sacrifice so much.
Yet that’s part of the draw and natural consequence. Sacrificial love is noble. Fulfilling even. So it’s hard to resist. It’s hard to believe you can still love someone so deeply — but also regard yourself as important in any relationship or situation.
So what can you do? How do you find that balance?
Recognize where the imbalance actually comes from
Think real hard about why you hold onto that person you love so tightly. Is it because you feel so much of that longing or desire? Or…. Is it also because of something else? Like the fear of losing the relationship?
Think back to previous relationships, remember the hurt, the heartache, the pain — nothing hurts more than love. And often that hurt compels a person to seek it out again only to hold onto it even tighter out of fear of it slipping away. But rest assured:
When you love someone, don’t be afraid of the hurt. Embrace it.
Why? Because without it, you don’t have the full impression of what love can do for you in your life. Being afraid of it gets you down a road to where once life makes things difficult, and your heart’s broken, your longing for the love you want won’t be about who you’re loving.
It instead will only be about the emotions. And those pass away.
Leaving you empty.
It won’t do you well to focus only on the feeling. Always cherish the choice. Regardless of outcome. Regardless of happenstance or the frail world we live in. Love is greatest when you’re brave enough to lose it. Because when you do (and you will at least once in your life), you’ll be even stronger to carry an even greater love in the future.
Want to know more about yourself and how you can grow personally in your life? Particularly with romance and relationships? Join us below.
Ask anyone. Posing the question about the top human needs out there in today’s world, and you’ll get a list. A lot of the items on that list will vary. But one that will always be a constant 99.9% of the time in any list of basic human needs, a priority above all others, is love. And there’s no fault to it. Us humans long for that companionship and identifying with someone on a personal level, fulfilling ourselves deeply in a way that allows us to share ourselves with others.
But…. Not to be a killjoy here….
Love as a human need can be scary!
Sure, the idea of opening yourself up to someone’s intense, but that’s not what we’re referring to here. The fact is that while you’re leaving yourself vulnerable to getting hurt (obviously), being in love is not only like floating in thin air, but it’s floating into a wall and busting your nose. All while you weren’t looking
Fall too hard with love, and you might find yourself obsessing over the person to the point where you forget to take care of yourself. Your goal is to only please the other without any regard for your own autonomy. That can be dangerous. Yet it’s hard to find a balance when you’re that much in love and you long and desire for the person so deeply that you’re willing to sacrifice so much.
Yet that’s part of the draw and natural consequence. Sacrificial love is noble. Fulfilling even. So it’s hard to resist. It’s hard to believe you can still love someone so deeply — but also regard yourself as important in any relationship or situation.
So what can you do? How do you find that balance?
Recognize where the imbalance actually comes from
Think real hard about why you hold onto that person you love so tightly. Is it because you feel so much of that longing or desire? Or…. Is it also because of something else? Like the fear of losing the relationship?
Think back to previous relationships, remember the hurt, the heartache, the pain — nothing hurts more than love. And often that hurt compels a person to seek it out again only to hold onto it even tighter out of fear of it slipping away. But rest assured:
When you love someone, don’t be afraid of the hurt. Embrace it.
Why? Because without it, you don’t have the full impression of what love can do for you in your life. Being afraid of it gets you down a road to where once life makes things difficult, and your heart’s broken, your longing for the love you want won’t be about who you’re loving.
It instead will only be about the emotions. And those pass away.
Leaving you empty.
It won’t do you well to focus only on the feeling. Always cherish the choice. Regardless of outcome. Regardless of happenstance or the frail world we live in. Love is greatest when you’re brave enough to lose it. Because when you do (and you will at least once in your life), you’ll be even stronger to carry an even greater love in the future.
Want to know more about yourself and how you can grow personally in your life? Particularly with romance and relationships? Join us below.
