Instead of messing with those black and white squares, opt for level ground and simple colors that come with the 60/20 Relationship Rule! Find a valley with some gentle curves to it. Relax on the grass. You don’t need pawns. You don’t need rooks. You don’t need bishops or knights. Because at the end of the day, a relationship isn’t supposed to be an odds-end battle or conflict about wants and needs, trying to keep a tricky balance between a king and queen.
Instead, your relationship will be about balance — and understanding.
You get that with the 60/20 Relationship Rule
The truth is you can’t blame us. A relationship involves two people. And those two people each are singular. Individual. Autonomous. Sovereign. Trying to ‘bring’ two people together with specific wants and needs is often like trying to mix water with oil. It’s delicate. But the fact is we’re going about it all the wrong way.
So let’s start with the simple question: what is the 60/20 Relationship Rule? Call it a golden rule of sorts, applying to literally anyone. The rule states that all of us fall into two categories: you’re either in the “20” or the “60.” It simply means that between all your priorities, you’re either giving 20% to each one or 60% to only one of them (that one being the spouse).
What are the typical priorities?
- Family
- Friends
- Kids
- Work
- Marriage
We want to stress an important note here about what this means…. It doesn’t mean you’re ‘wrong’ for putting 20% to each of these, nor does it mean you’re wrong for putting 60% toward your spouse!
We want that to be clear.
What’s important is you simply recognize the difference
And then you come to a conclusion about what should happen. It doesn’t mean the “20” people need to step up and be on the same level, nor does it mean the “60” people need to tone things down and sink to a lower standard. Rather, this is about understanding the dynamic — and working toward meeting goals at the center.
Call it compromise if you want, although that might not be very accurate. As there are plenty of variables in the life of any relationship that can tip balances or twist the dynamics around a little. The point of the rule is to understand what “side” you fall into, why you fall into it, and how you can help bridge the gap. One partner might find that he/she definitely fits in the “60” mold through and through and needs to reel it back in a bit, but the “20” person can also ramp it up a little in putting the spouse first on a few things. It shouldn’t be all black or white.
Just a nice warm grey!
And definitely no need to call out for a “checkmate.” Remember: no battles here. Just embraces for days and nights.
Speaking of “embraces”….
Let’s make it a point to dig even deeper into what the 60/20 Relationship Rule gets with a look at the latest book by entrepreneur Joe Delfgauw. Just click the image you see here!
The truth is you can’t blame us. A relationship involves two people. And those two people each are singular. Individual. Autonomous. Sovereign. Trying to ‘bring’ two people together with specific wants and needs is often like trying to mix water with oil. It’s delicate. But the fact is we’re going about it all the wrong way.
So let’s start with the simple question: what is the 60/20 Relationship Rule? Call it a golden rule of sorts, applying to literally anyone. The rule states that all of us fall into two categories: you’re either in the “20” or the “60.” It simply means that between all your priorities, you’re either giving 20% to each one or 60% to only one of them (that one being the spouse).
What are the typical priorities?
- Family
- Friends
- Kids
- Work
- Marriage
We want to stress an important note here about what this means…. It doesn’t mean you’re ‘wrong’ for putting 20% to each of these, nor does it mean you’re wrong for putting 60% toward your spouse!
We want that to be clear.
What’s important is you simply recognize the difference
And then you come to a conclusion about what should happen. It doesn’t mean the “20” people need to step up and be on the same level, nor does it mean the “60” people need to tone things down and sink to a lower standard. Rather, this is about understanding the dynamic — and working toward meeting goals at the center.
Call it compromise if you want, although that might not be very accurate. As there are plenty of variables in the life of any relationship that can tip balances or twist the dynamics around a little. The point of the rule is to understand what “side” you fall into, why, and how you can help bridge the gap. One partner might find that he/she definitely fits in the “60” mold through and through and needs to reel it back in a bit, but the “20” person can also ramp it up a little in putting the spouse first on a few things. It shouldn’t be all black or white.
Just a nice warm grey!
And definitely no need to call out for a “checkmate.” Remember: no battles here. Just embraces for days and nights.
Speaking of “embraces”….
Let’s make it a point to dig even deeper into what the 60/20 Relationship Rule gets with a look at the latest book by entrepreneur Joe Delfgauw. Just click the image you see here!